


Log Date 7 16 2

by TheQuiteExcellentBlog



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:59:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5860678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQuiteExcellentBlog/pseuds/TheQuiteExcellentBlog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peridot is trying to understand fusion so has set herself a project of reforming the tattered bonds between Garnet and her team mates stopping them from fusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Log Date, 7 16 2, I am coming to terms with now being a Crystal Gem. Although it is difficult to comprehend the fact I am now a traitor to Homeworld and a personal enemy of Yellow Diamond, I’m glad I did what I did. Steven has shown me how unique this world is and while all of it doesn’t have an apparent purpose, it is all worth protecting even if that reason is just to learn more. In spite of this however, I still fear the possibility of being shattered. I’ve only had my physical form destroyed once and that was scary in itself. I can’t imagine what ceasing to be is like. But the Perma-fusion Garnet has assured me…”

  
“I hear my name…” Garnet said playful.

  
“Eek! How long have you been standing there!” Peridot said as she leapt backwards.

  
“Don’t worry, I haven’t been eaves dropping. I was just coming over to talk to you about something”

  
“Have I done something wrong? If this about message painted on the back of the barn, that was Amethyst’s idea!”

  
“No, no, it’s not that. I need to confess something to you”

  
“Confess something… Oh my stars! Are you going to tell me that you’re actually a Blue Diamond sleeper agent! A fusion of two non-identical gems who would be able to gain the trust of the Crystal Gems and dismantle them from inside?”

  
Garnet stared with a unimpressed frown.

  
“Ok, I have to admit that said out loud that sounds preposterous”

  
“No kidding. Also how did you know Sapphire was a part of Blue Diamond’s Court?”

  
“Erm… I just know my gem history… heh…” Peridot squirmed.

  
“Peridot, you’re a technician, why would they teach you about a traitor?”

  
“Ok, I overheard you telling Steven on his birthday... please don’t be mad!” Peridot flinched.

  
Garnet smirked “I’m not mad Peridot. It’s not classified information. What disappoints me is you thought you had to lie”

  
“Well… I don’t know what I’m allowed to know”

  
“Well there’s one principal point we Crystal Gems try to live by and that’s honesty with each other and I need to confess that I haven’t been entirely honest with you”

  
“Oh no… those shorts looked awful on me didn’t they? Thank goodness I tore them to…”

  
“No not that, when I asked you to fuse with me, it wasn’t entirely so you could learn about fusion. I had other reasons…”

  
“Were you hoping our fusion would be an asset in any future combat? I’m sorry I couldn’t do it…”

  
Garnet let out a sad chuckle “No it’s not that. I was hoping we could fuse so that over time I’d have someone else on the team who I could trust to fuse with. It goes without saying fusion is important to me and being able to fuse with those I care about is a wonderful feeling but unfortunately I can’t fuse with Amethyst and Pearl. I was hoping I could have that feeling with you”

  
“But you don’t like me… I was your enemy not too long ago… why would you want to be close to me?”

  
“I don’t hate you, Peridot. I sympathize with you more than you know. You’re trapped on this planet having to learn its customs and reject your own. Ruby and Sapphire went through the same when they joined the Crystal Gems but they had each other and they had Rose… I can’t imagine what it’s like for you”

  
The pair fell silent for a moment.

  
“Well it’s not as hard as you think. Steven is very patient and for the record I feel bad for making him think I had betrayed you all by contacting Yellow Diamond”

  
“Yeah, you could have maybe tried to explain your plan there but I understand why you did it. Although I hope Homeworld haven’t sent someone to take care of you”

  
“Heh… so do I…” Peridot laughed nervously.

  
“If they do come, we’ll protect you, I promise” Garnet said seriously.

  
Peridot nervously smiled “So… why can’t you fuse with Amethyst and Pearl? They seem able to fuse with each other just fine. Is it because you’re not the correct resonance?”

  
“No. As with many things, it’s a little more complicated than that”

  
“Oh no, why does logic not work on this planet?!”

  
Garnet smirked “After Ruby and Sapphire became traitors, Ruby felt so bad for disturbing Sapphire’s prediction of the rest of her life but Sapphire always told her that logic only persists if every sentient being had no free will and followed orders”

  
“Exactly! The Diamonds knew what was right and if we’d followed their direction, everything would be fine”

  
“Yes, but Sapphire also knew that a being that just followed orders perfectly also had not thoughts of their own, no emotions. They only exist and continue to act in order to exist. The moment Ruby intervened and disrupted the path of fate was the day Sapphire started living, started feeling, started loving”

  
“Oh… I see her point. But what has this to do with why you can’t fuse with Amethyst and Pearl?”

  
“For the record I can fuse with them, it’s just either a bad idea or for the wrong reason.”

  
“Oh?”

  
“When me and Amethyst fuse, we make a being called Sugilite. And like how I’m a combination of Ruby and Sapphire’s personalities, so is Sugilite a combination of mine and Amethyst’s, and therein lies the problem. When you combine my reckless confidence with Amethyst’s false ego, you make a fusion who think she’s the best and acts without thought”

  
“Sounds scary… but I sure if you both tried you could make Sugilite more agreeable…”

  
“I’d love to but there’s too much risk. Sugilite give us both an amazing sense of power and it takes only one us to lose ourselves even a little and we risk Sugilite being rash and destructive”

  
“Oh please, how destructive can she be? Opal’s tall but I don’t see her leveling a town”

  
“Sugilite is twice as tall as the barn” Garnet said quickly.

  
“Argh! Ok, I get your point… wait, would we have been that tall if we’d fused?”

  
“Hard to say until we do fuse, it’s fairly likely”

  
“Eehehehehe, oh I hope we fuse one day so I can rub it in Pearl’s face with how tall I’ll be!”

  
“Hmm. Anyway, Sugilite can’t be trusted. I’d love to have that connection with Amethyst again but to do that at the risk of Steven or Greg or any human is too irresponsible. So for now, Sugilite is benched”

  
“Oh I see… well I hope our fusion isn’t like that… heh... she’ll probably go around correcting everyone and being right, ha! Sorry…”

  
“No don’t be, I’m glad you’re excited to fuse. Hopefully one day you’ll be ready”

  
“Thanks… so why can’t you fuse with Pearl?”

  
“Well this is trickier to explain because I don’t want to tell you this and you go using this against Pearl or thinking less of her”

  
“Oh… what did Pearl do to you?”

  
“I’m not saying unless you swear never to use it against her or to respect her less because of it”

  
“I er…”

  
“Peridot.”

  
“Ok, I swear”

  
Garnet scrutinized Peridot for a moment before deciding she could trust her.

  
“Ok, well the reason I can’t fuse with Pearl is because I can’t trust her. When we were searching for you and found the communication hub rebuilt, we needed to destroy it. Usually that job would fall to Sugilite but as she was benched, me and Pearl fused to form Sardonyx and took care of the communication hub easily. But Pearl became addicted the feeling of being Sardonyx so rebuilt the communication hub, making us think it was you again, just so we’d have a reason to make Sardonyx again. But soon Pearl was found out and I felt so betrayed that is took a long time for me to trust her again”

  
“Oh… wow… I was… not expecting that… well if your friends again, why can’t you fuse anymore?”

  
“Well at first the reason was betrayal. Ruby and Sapphire were so conflicted over what Pearl had done they unfused. I was put through so much turmoil and I couldn’t help but aim hate at Pearl. But as time went on, I started to realize all the reasons why Pearl had taken this risk. When we made Sardonyx, she has a similar feeling when she was used to fuse with Rose to make Rainbow Quartz; a sense of love and assurance that I could offer as a fusion myself. Pearl misses Rose more than she’s willing to admit and wanted to just feel like she did before Rose left us”

  
“Oh wow… I feel bad for being so hard on her… she idolized Rose like I did Yellow Diamond… to fuse with Yellow Diamond… that would be… impossible, actually”

  
“Very. But I can’t fuse with Pearl because I don’t know if she’s wanting to fuse with me, or be reminded of what it felt like to be with Rose and even though I love and respect Pearl, I don’t feel right being used like that”

  
“I see… I hope I don’t become drunk with power when we fuse”

  
“Don’t worry, I'll know if you have or not”

  
“And how do you propose to know this? You told me fusion is a conversation. What if I chose to keep how fusion makes me feel powerful a secret?”

  
“Peridot, you told us how great eating is, in frightening detail. I don’t think you’re one to keep emotions when you have them so close to your chest”

  
“Hey! I’m not that obvious!” Peridot paused to consider “Am I?”

  
“You are” Garnet smirked “But it’s cute”

  
“Is that good?”

  
“Well it works for Steven”

  
“I see…” Peridot stood up and began pacing with her hand over her mouth.

  
“What you thinking about, P Dot?”

  
“I thinking how to repair relations between you are your team mates so you can fuse again. I’m trying to understand your friendships and interactions more and perhaps thinking through this problem might help me. Also seeing how you all fuse will help me better understand how to fuse”

  
Garnet smiled “Sounds like a nice little project for you, Peridot. But you only do this on two conditions”

  
“Which are...?”

  
“One, you can’t force them to fuse. Amethyst is conflicted about forming Sugilite and if she goes into the fusion with any doubt, Sugilite is likely to be unstable. And Pearl might be guilty about what she did and that could make Sardonyx unstable.”

  
“Ok… what about number two?”

  
“Two, be honest with both of them. Don’t deceive or use misinformation to get them to come around to the idea of fusing again. As I said, honesty is what makes you a Crystal Gem”

  
“I think I can work within those parameters. How often would like reports on my progress, My Diamond, I mean! Garnet”

  
Garnet chuckled “I’m flattered but you don’t need to report in. I trust you, you’re methodical. Just make sure I know what your plan is before you set it into motion”

  
“Thank you. Shall I have Steven help me?”

  
“Well he would be a little bias, considering her loves fusion, but I think we can’t avoid him being involved”

  
“Please, Garnet, I can keep a secret from Steven”

  
“I doubt it. He’s been behind that hay bale this entire time”

  
“What? Steven! How dare you eavesdrop!”

  
Steven timidly stepped out from behind the hay bale “I’m sorry guys… I’m just so fascinated with how you’re so close and it’s just nice to hear you guys talk”

  
“Well what if we had been discussing classified information you weren’t supposed to hear? What then?”

  
“We wouldn’t be because Steven is a Crystal Gem and no information is classified to him”

  
“Well… what if we’d be planning him a surprise?”

  
“Steven would have pretended he’d not heard us” Garnet smiled to which Steven blushed.

  
“Urgh, fine! You can help me, Steven, in my assignment to help Garnet fuse safely with her team mates”

  
“Yes! I already have ideas on how to do this!”

  
“Remember Steven, follow the two conditions”

  
“Ok Garnet” Steven smiled “Come on Peri, let’s get started!”

  
“Ok, ok! Let’s go”


	2. Chapter 2

“So, Steven, the task at hand is to repair relations between Garnet” said Peridot pointing to a square wearing shades on the chalk board with her fly swat “and Pearl and Amethyst?” said Peridot pointing now to vague pear shape and a circle with one eye covered.

  
“Er… well we should talk to Amethyst and Pearl, make them aware of what we’re doing”

  
“Really? Steven, do you think that’s a good idea? Won’t they be a little… hostile to such a plan?”

  
“Why would they be hostile? You’re a Crystal Gem!” Steven said excitedly.

  
“No Steven, I may not know much about the customs on this planet but I know enough to know that people don’t seem willing to discuss their problems…”

  
“Oh yeah… I remember what it was like after the whole Sardonyx incident”

  
“Urgh, why are you Crystal Gems so emotional? On Homeworld you just have a job and you do it. Is this the price of free will? Crying and spontaneous singing?”

  
“Sounds like a good trade off to me” Steven chuckled “Listen Peridot, I know you don’t like all this emotional stuff but you have to talk to Pearl and Amethyst first, it’s only fair”

  
“Urgh, fine! We’ll do it your way Steven”

  
“What was it going to be your plan, by the way?”

  
“To observe them from a far and make notes”

  
“Peridot… that would be creepy…”

  
“Well… I’m learning ok!”

  
“Shh shh shh… let’s go talk to Pearl”

  
“Ok…”

  
The pair walked over to where Pearl was sat in an arm chair reading a book on Advanced Mechanics and Engineering intended for post graduate students.

  
“H... Hello Pearl” Peridot said nervously.

  
“Oh, hello, Peridot, can I help you?” said Pearl confused.

  
“I need to talk to you about something…”

  
“Ok…” Pearl said even more perplexed.

  
“So Garnet has set me a task to… er… help you and her fuse again…”

  
“Excuse me?”

  
“Yeah… Garnet wants to be able to fuse with you again but wants me to help so I can understand fusion and…”

  
“She’s asked you to be her middle-person? If she wants to fuse with me again, why doesn’t she just ask me? I’d be happy to oblige!”

  
“Well she doesn’t trust you just yet…”

  
Pearl froze and slowly turned to glare at Peridot “What has Garnet told you?”

  
“Listen Pearl, I don’t hold it against you, what you did! You loved Rose and I can see how Garnet would fill that…”

  
“How dare you say that! Who do you think you are, Peridot? You may be a Crystal Gem now but you do not have the right to talk about me as if you know me!”

  
“Those were Garnet’s words not mine!” said Peridot quickly while cringing heavily.

  
“Oh, so she thinks I’m not over Rose yet? And she tells you this and not me! I thought she was stronger than this! Where is she? I need to have words! Garnet! Garnet get out here right now!”

  
“Steven, this is going terribly!” Peridot surreptitiously whispered to Steven in anger.

  
“Well you could have been a little less harsh” Steven whispered back.

  
“Steven! Come help me find Garnet!” Pearl shouted as she looked around the barn.

  
“Coming, Pearl!” Steven shouted back.

  
“I’ll help to!” Peridot called.

  
“No you will not! Stay there!” Pearl said with a glare.

  
Peridot sat in the armchair glumly and watched the two scurry about searching for Garnet. She picked up one of the Advanced Mechanics Books Pearl wasn’t reading and figured she might as well brush up on some knowledge while she waited.

  
Steven had split off from Pearl and was behind the barn, trying to look like he was searching when he was actually just hoping Garnet wasn’t around. He was hoping this could be a great way for Peridot to learn about the ways things were on Earth but it was looking like it wasn’t to be. But then a crow landed nearby. It had deep purple feathers and a third eye.

  
“Steven” the crow whispered “I saw what happened with Pearl”

  
“Garnet? Why aren’t you talking to Pearl? She’s really upset!”

  
“I know Steven, but Peridot needs to learn to handle a situation like this and Pearl needs to know how to open up”

  
“I don’t know, Garnet. Pearl seems pretty upset. I really think you should talk to her…”

  
Garnet sighed. “No, Steven. Peridot needs to learn about what it takes to make a good fusion. Plus, if I just go and talk to Pearl, it’ll just be me apologizing for talking behind her back”

  
“Yes! Exactly! You were telling Peridot to be honest and yet here you are avoiding Pearl!”

  
“Yes, but it’s for her own good. Pearl needs to realize she still misses Rose and then needs to get herself past that. I don’t like hurting Pearl like this but it’s for her own good”

  
Steven sighed heavily “Ok, Garnet. I don’t like this but I’ll try and talk to Pearl, get her to come around to your plan”

  
“Thank you, Steven. I’m going to go away for today. I trust you to handle this”

  
Before Steven could argue, Garnet flew off and was over the hills around the barn before he knew it. Steven grumbled before pocketing his hands and going over to where Pearl was stood on her toes on a fence post trying to spot Garnet further.

  
“Any luck, Steven?” Pearl asked exasperated.

  
“No, I don’t think Garnet is here. Listen, Pearl, I think you should talk to Peridot. It would really help you both and…”

  
“Steven, I’m not discussing the loss of Rose with someone who once tried to kill me”

  
“Peridot was lost and alone on Earth and for all she knew, you were the enemy”

  
“Don’t make excuses for her Steven! She may have called Yellow Diamond a clod but we shouldn’t be so quick to trust her”

  
“But all she’s doing is trying to understand fusion more! Why is that bad?”

  
“Because she could do that by just fusing with Garnet! Why must I be involved?”

  
“Because you need to learn some things about fusion as well!” Steven yelled.

  
Pearl looked at Steven shocked before composing herself and hopping down from the fence post and striding off. Steven sighed and went back over to where Peridot was who’d almost finished the book she was reading.

  
“Come on Peridot, let’s try Amethyst”

  
“Did things not work out with Pearl?” Peridot asked annoyed.

  
“No… I think when we talk to Amethyst, make sure you tell her you’re trying to learn about fusion first and then tell her about fusing with Garnet”

  
“Urgh, I suppose you’re right. We should have planned more!”

  
“Well that might be true but Pearl did over react…”

  
Peridot sat up surprised “You agree that she over reacted?”

  
“Yes… wait, you’re not judging Pearl, are you?”

  
“No, no, I’m trying to gauge if my reaction to her reaction is correct”

  
“Oh I see” Steven said glumly.

  
“Well onward! Let’s go talk to Amethyst!”

  
“Ok” Steven chuckled at Peridot’s unwavering enthusiasm.

  
“So where is Amethyst? I haven’t seen her all day”

  
“I think she’s asleep in the barn”

  
“Hmm, how typical” Peridot grumbled.

  
The pair walked over to the barn and went up the steps to the upper level where Steven had his TV and found Amethyst asleep on the sofa with a tape of Lil’ Butler playing.

  
“Hey Amethyst!” Steven said excitedly.

  
“Wuh? Oh hey, Steven” Amethyst yawned “What time is it?”

  
“It’s five eighths of an Earth rotation” said Peridot.

  
“Er… what?” Amethyst said confused.

  
“I think she means its three o’clock”

  
“What? Aww Steven! Why did you wake me up early! Urgh!” Amethyst rolled over grumpily.

  
“Because Peridot needs to talk to you about something important”

  
“Oh… ok, P-dot, what’s up?” said Amethyst as she sat up to make room for Peridot and Steven.

  
The pair sat next to her with Peridot in the middle. Peridot paused for a moment to carefully consider her words before letting out a big sigh.

  
“Ok, so I’m trying to understand fusion” Peridot said finally.

  
“Oh cool, want some tips on how to mash it up?” Amethyst said with a wry grin.

  
“No, I’ve been given a task by Garnet to help me understand fusion and it involves helping her be able to fuse with you and Pearl again safely…”

  
“Er… what?” Amethyst said nervously.

  
“Garnet wants to be able to fuse with you two individually again but wants me to help make sure your fusions with her are stable or based on mutual trust…”

  
“Heh heh, listen, Peridot, I’m… not ready to be make Sugilite again… she brings out the worse in me”

  
“Well I’m trying to fix that. Garnet thinks if you talk to me about it, we can figure out how best to make Sugilite stable. And then I’ll understand what a good fusion is”

  
“Hey, listen… Sugilite isn’t a good teacher for fusion, P-dot. She’s angry, destructive and mean… you should learn off Opal, or Stevonnie! They’re way better teachers!” said Amethyst absently scratching her head.

  
“But my task is to help you and Garnet fuse… Garnet misses fusing with you but needs to be careful for everyone’s safety”

  
“Yeah, I get it! I miss fusing with her too, you know? But Sugilite is too dangerous, ok? Just another mistake caused by me…”

  
“But Amethyst, you’re a totally different gem to when you made Sugilite when you first destroyed the communication hub” chipped in Steven

  
“I know, ok?! But I’m not ready to make Sugilite. Last time I made her with Garnet to destroy the communication hub for the final time, it was the cruddiest experience of my life. I couldn’t enjoy being Sugilite because I had to concentrate as hard as I could to keep Sugilite from going crazy because of all the anger that Garnet brought into the fusion. Garnet ruined Sugilite for me that day… I never want to make her again…” said Amethyst as she got up and stood facing away.

  
Peridot looked glumly at Amethyst’s heels “Oh… I see… I wonder if Garnet knows she hurt you…”

  
“I don’t think she does. I never said because she was so hurt after Pearl betrayed her, I didn’t want to make things worse”

  
“Ok. Well guess I won’t learn about fusion then”

  
Amethyst looked back at the glum Peridot and felt guilty “Listen…” said turning to face her why rubbing the back of her neck “I feel bad for ruining your plan to learn about fusion… how about you forget Garnet’s dumb plan and watch how me and Pearl dance to make Opal!”

  
“Thanks, but it’s not the dance that I find the problem. Its willingly letting myself go and becoming wholly part of something else…”

  
“Oh right… I guess I find it easy because I want to be anything other than myself” said Amethyst now kneeling in front of Peridot.

  
“You shouldn’t feel like that… you’re a good person as you are” said Peridot looking into Amethyst’s eyes.

  
Amethyst lips quivered and her eyes teared up before a wobbly smile lit up her face and she quickly hugged Peridot “Ok… if you think I’m worth something, I’ll give making Sugilite a go”

  
“Really?” Peridot said delighted, muffled by Amethyst’s hair.

  
“Yep” said Amethyst letting Peridot go “But I want Garnet to know she hurt me, ok?”

  
Peridot nodded with a smile before getting up and hugging Amethyst and whispering “Thank you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So by the request of you lovely people, I've updated! I'm actually quite proud of this chapter. Its higher than usual quality is probably down to the fact I completely re-wrote it from an early draft that was utter pants!
> 
> Now do not be mean to Pearl, ok? She's a tortured bean and her presentation here isn't because I don't like her, just so we're clear.


	3. Chapter 3

                Morning dawned and Amethyst emerged from the little trash heap she’d built in the corner of the barn to make it feel a little more like home and set out to find Steven and Peridot. Outside the barn she found Pearl sat at a table, silently tinkering away with the radio from Greg’s van that she was fixing in exchange for Greg clearing out the rats they’d found under the barn.

                “Morning P!” Amethyst said forcing on a smile.

                “You’re up early” Pearl said without looking up from her work.

                “Well you know, I was bound to wake up when it was morning one of these days” Amethyst laughed nervously.

                Pearl didn’t say anything.

                “You ok, P? Looks like something’s on your mind” Amethyst offered kindly.

                “I’m fine, thank you. If you’re looking for Steven, then he’s still asleep. Please don’t wake him”

                Amethyst sighed “Is this about what Peridot asked you yesterday?”

                Pearl looked up for the radio “How do you know about that?”

                “Because Peridot and Steven asked me as well” Amethyst flinched expecting to be scolded.

                “What did you say?” Pearl said in a level tone.

                “I kinda… said yes. Look, I know Sugilite is dangerous and you two aren’t exactly friends but I really want to show I can control this! Show that Sugilite can be a useful part of the team! And… to connect with Garnet, you know?”

                “I see. Well I hope you have fun fusing” Pearl said with a forced flatness to her voice.

                “Pearl… why did Peridot upset you so much?” Amethyst said concerned.

                Pearl sighed “You’re not going to leave me alone until I tell you, are you? Very well, sit down” said Pearl offering a seat tot Amethyst “The reason I was so offended was because I can’t see why Garnet couldn’t ask me herself. Why did she have to involve Peridot?”

                “Wait, didn’t Peridot tell you? She wants to learn about fusion”

                “Yes, I briefly heard her mention that, but why can’t she learn about fusion by just fusing? It’s how we all learned”

                “Yeah, but this is different for Peridot. Her whole life she’s done things with information to back her up. She was telling me that she isn’t comfortable with trying fusion until she can see what makes it so we can fuse”

                “Urgh… I suppose I should be more considerate. She does think so differently to us. Funny how 5000 years away from Homeworld can change you. I used to know all the etiquette for how a Pearl should act, now… I couldn’t tell you any of it”

                “Well… you’re still prim and proper like a Pearl” Amethyst sniggered “Not that’s a bad thing!”

                Pearl chuckled “Thank you. But you see my annoyance, correct? I respect the fact that Peridot wants to see me and Garnet fuse but why did Garnet have her ask me instead of herself? Why couldn’t Garnet do it? I’ve been waiting for the day for Garnet to fully trust me again and it’s just a little disappointing to not have her be the messenger”

                “But does Garnet fully trust you yet?” Amethyst said confused.

                Pearl began to argue but thought better of it “No… she still thinks that I used fusion with her as a means to feel like I was fused with Rose again”

                “But I thought you used Garnet to feel stronger because you felt bad for being a Pearl?” Amethyst blurted out “Sorry, that came out wrong”

                “That was the initial reason. I believed that myself. But then me and Garnet talked and we realized I miss Rose. Rose was the first Gem to ever make me feel more than a Pearl. And then when we met Garnet and realized we could fuse, Rose made me feel greater still.”

                “Do you feel greater when you fuse with me?” Amethyst said sadly.

                “Oh no, sorry! I didn’t mean to… Amethyst, understand that Rose is a powerful Gem and the rush you feel from fusing with her is only matched by someone like Garnet. But I still love fusing with you. You bring me a sense of peace that I seldom get with anyone else” said Pearl reaching across the table to hold Amethyst’s hand.

                Amethyst chuckled “Don’t sweat it P, I know I’m not a proper quartz. I just wondered what you felt when we fused. Nice to know I bring you peace”

                Pearl giggled “Yes, quite ironic when you think about it”

                “Hey… I’m not that annoying…” Amethyst said playfully.

                “You’re not actually. You used to frustrate me because I couldn’t make you into the Gem I thought you should be; something you’re not. But I’m proud of the gem you’ve become, Amethyst”

                “Thank you. And I think you’re strong enough to overcome this”

                “I appreciate you believing in me but letting go of Rose is difficult and now I’ve admitted to Garnet she reminds me of fusing with Rose, there’s always going to be a hint of doubt when we fuse, making her wonder if I want fuse with her or be reminded of Rose”

                “Oh Pearl… I… don’t know how to help you there”

                “I know, and I wouldn’t expect you to help. This is something I need to work out by myself”

                “Ok… I’m going to say something but you’re not to tell Garnet, ok?”

“Ok” Pearl said curious.

“Garnet shouldn’t be so hung up on this. I know fusion is her thing, but she should know it makes us feel good. You can’t say someone is using you because you feel happy when you’re with them”

                “But that’s the problem; Garnet does want us to be happy that it’s her we’re fusing with, not that she reminds us of someone else”

                “Oh… well is there anything unique you feel when you fuse with Garnet? Maybe if you tell her about that, she’ll trust you again”

                “Oh, well… I need to think on this. I’ll be honest, I’ve only focused on the things that reminded me of fusing with Rose…”

                “Pearl!” Amethyst whined.

                “What? I need to be honest. I used Garnet. I know that’s not right and this is my penance”

                “Fair enough. Well I gotta go. I was going to do some meditation before I fuse with Garnet this afternoon”

                “You’re fusing today?! Don’t you need to prepare or something?”

                “Nah. No sense overthinking it. I just gotta go for it!” said Amethyst as she stood up.

                “Wait!” said Pearl placing her hand on Amethyst’s arm “Please, Amethyst, you need to be careful. Sugilite is incredibly dangerous. Have you fully thought through what you’re undertaking?”

                “I know what I’m doing, Pearl. But I have to do this. To prove to myself I can. Garnet believes in me and I need to trust her”

                “But Garnet can be rash! Don’t say you’re trusting her because you think she’s seen the future!”

                “Well yeah, a little, but I’m feeling good. I just want to meditate a little beforehand so I’m super focused” Amethyst smiled.

                “But… urgh, fine. I see I can’t make you see reason” Pearl snapped before resuming her work.

                “Pearl! Urgh, listen, me and Garnet are fusing today, whether you like it or not! And I promise you nothing will go wrong!”

                “Well then I hope you’re right”

                “Urgh, great! I was in a good mood this morning! Now you’ve ruined it!” Amethyst yelled.

                “See? You’re not ready Amethyst. You’ve grown so much but your emotions still fluctuate too much! It’s too dangerous to make Sugilite! Please listen to me!”

                Amethyst clenched her first and slapped the back of one to her forehead “Pearl, my emotions are fine. I wouldn’t be annoyed right now if you hadn’t snapped at me!”

                “Amethyst! Please! I believe you can do this but I also fear for Steven’s safety! Sugilite is dangerous. I just ask you respect that fact and put more thought into than you have done… please” Pearl said looking down, single tear trailing off her nose.

                “Pearl?” Amethyst said worried before running over to hold Pearl around the shoulders.

                “I’m sorry Amethyst, I want to be supportive but… Sugilite scares me, ok? I only defeated her because of sheer luck and careful use of the terrain. I don’t think I could do the same again. After all, Sugilite would be wise to my previous tactic and wouldn’t fall for it again. I… just want you to be careful”

                “Oh wow…. I didn’t realize you were that scared of Sugilite… I… I’m sorry, Pearl. But this is why I want to do this, so Sugilite will be better for the team. And less scary for you”

                “But how are you going to control your emotions when you fuse?”

                “I’ll just focus on how peaceful I feel when I fuse with you to make Opal” Amethyst smiled as she hugged Pearl’s shoulders.

                Pearl thought for a moment before sniffing back a tear “Ok… thank you”

                “Oh great, are they now going to start singing about why they’re crying?” Peridot said as she approached.

                “Peridot! Don’t be so mean!” Steven chastised her before yawning.

                “Steven! We didn’t wake you did we?” Pearl said looking up, quickly wiping away my tears.

                “No not really. Well I did wake up a little when Amethyst yelled but it was Peridot who woke up”

                Pearl and Amethyst looked to Peridot for an answer.

                “What? You two were getting all emotional and I needed Steven with me in case you tried sharing your feelings with me”

                “Peridot! What did I say?”

                “Ha! It’s fine Steven, Peridot is learning. Soon she’ll be crying and singing like the rest of us” said Amethyst who’d come over to tussle Peridot’s hair.

                “Hey! Stop! And how do you know I don’t already do that?” challenged Peridot.

                “Oh really? Well I hope I’m around the next time sing so we can have a duet” Pearl said with playful smugness as she resumed work.

                “Hey! You can’t sing with me about missing screw drivers! Mostly because it was I who misplaced them!”

                “Anyways… Peridot, I think I’m ready to fuse with Garnet. Shoot off your signal flare or whatever you have to get her to come back here and let’s mash it up!” Amethyst said bumping her hip against Peridot.

                “Oof!” said Peridot as she stumbled “I appreciate your enthusiasm but I have no idea where Garnet is”

                “What? Then where the heck is she?”

                “I just said, I have…”

                “I know, I know, I know what you said. Urgh, I was in the zone and everything…”

                “Don’t worry, me and Peridot will find her!” Steven called out proudly.

                “Oh Steven!” Pearl called Steven over.

                “Yes Pearl?”

                “Once Amethyst and Garnet are done fusing; could you ask Garnet to come find me? I need to talk to her”

                “Pearl… I dunno, if you’re just going to shout at her…”

                “Don’t worry, Steven, I’m not mad at her anymore. Amethyst and I have been talking this morning and I think once she’s done with Amethyst I will have thought of the right thing to say to her”

                “Ok then, I’ll send her your way when she’s done” Steven smiled “Right, Peridot! Let’s go!”

                “Urgh, coming Steven…” Peridot moaned.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sorry this took so long too update. A combination of uni and me wanting this to be the best I could produce. So I hope you enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Amethyst was sitting under a tree on a hill with her legs crossed listening to a tape Vidalia had made for her to help combat stress.

  
“Ok, now breath in deeply holding your core… and let it out slowly… I dunno if deep breathing works for you gems but I’m sure the rhythm helps. Now-” said the recording of Vidalia’s voice.

  
“Hey Amethyst!” Steven called up the hill.

  
“Oh, hey Steven!” said Amethyst as she turned off the tape just as Vidalia was going off on another tangent about how to make kale smoothies have flavor.

  
Steven and Peridot ran up the hill with Garnet quickly striding behind them.

  
“I see you found her” Amethyst smiled.

  
“Yep, she’s been hanging out with Dad” Steven grinned.

  
“He was under strict orders not to talk” Garnet said blankly.

  
“Oh Garnet” Steven giggled “Anyways, done with your meditation, Amethyst?” Steven asked excitedly.

  
“Yeah, just wait a sec” Amethyst said unsure.

  
“Something wrong, Amethyst?” Garnet said curiously.

  
“No. Well, I dunno. Vidalia’s tape wasn’t as good as I hoped it to be. When she does these techniques herself, she like enters this Zen state. All I did was get a little sleepy”

  
“Did you at all reflect on anything?” Garnet offered.

  
“Yeah actually. Garnet, we need to talk about what happened after Pearl lied to you” Amethyst said flinching.

  
“Amethyst, that’s something for Pearl and I to work out. I know you sympathize with Pearl but I have my reasons for still not trusting her and-” Garnet said before being cut off.

  
“No!” Amethyst yelled at Garnet who only returned a confused look “Oh wow, you don’t even know what you did!”

  
“Amethyst… I…”

  
“Remember when you fused with me to knock the communication hub over for the final time? Remember all the anger you brought into that fusion? Well I do! And keeping Sugilite from becoming unstable was torture, ok? It sucked. It doesn’t feel right making Sugilite anymore because you kind of took the fun out of it. You were so angry. And I know what Pearl did was wrong, but you genuinely hated her in that moment and I felt it raw. I love Pearl, ok? Sure she annoys me and acts like my Mom but she’s still special because she’s helped me grow. So seeing her so weak and then feeling your hate for her really sucked, ok? I want Sugilite to be special again, ok? But you need to apologize!”

  
“Amethyst… I… I had no idea I did this to you... why didn’t you tell me?” said Garnet with a tear running from under her visor.

  
“Because... because you and Pearl weren’t talking and I really didn’t want to seem spoilt by trying to talk about my problems. Me and Steven were genuinely scared you two would never talk again so me going ‘Oh by the way, Garnet, you hurt my feelings’ would have seemed, I dunno, bratty?”

  
“But why didn’t you tell me after it all blew over?” Garnet said meekly.

  
“Well because once everyone was friends again, I didn’t want to make you all upset again and bring things back down again”

  
“Oh Amethyst… I… I’m sorry” said Garnet as she dropped to her knees and hugged Amethyst “I’m sorry! I… acted rashly and didn’t stop to think how foolish it was to make Sugilite while so angry”

  
“It’s ok, Garnet…” said Amethyst blushing.

  
Garnet stopped hugging Amethyst and held her by her shoulders “No it is not ok, Amethyst! I forced you to hold together a fusion that was on the brink of collapse due to my anger. It could have caused your gem to be damaged, or cause Sugilite to become a fusion like Malachite; just held together by spite…”

  
“Listen G, I don’t need you to apologize anymore. I can see you feel bad for what you did which honestly was why I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t want to make you cry. But you want to fuse again so before we did, I had to tell you”

  
More tears streaked from under Garnet’s visor. She removed them and smiled at Amethyst who awkwardly returned a smile while blushing. Garnet quickly hugged Amethyst tight again.

  
“Thank you, Amethyst. I’m so proud of how much you’ve grown. An Amethyst I knew once wouldn’t have been so mature as to humbly swallow her feelings for the good of her team. I can’t thank you enough for what you did. Allowing me and Pearl time to heal was very kind of you. I certainly regret the hurt I caused you but hopefully by being able to fuse to make Sugilite again will make it up to you”

  
Amethyst smiled and glanced back at Garnet “Let’s mash it up”

  
Garnet let go of Amethyst and stood up. Amethyst hopped to her feet and the pair walked down the hill to the open field at the bottom and stood apart facing each other.

  
“Are you ready, Amethyst?” Garnet said with a smile.

  
“Er yeah” Amethyst said as she raised her arms slightly to start dancing.

  
“Ok, synchronize-” Garnet began.

  
“Wait! Can we… try fusing differently this time?”

  
“What’s wrong Amethyst?” Garnet said sympathetically.

  
“It’s just all the bumping and grinding we do in our fusion dance to make Sugilite, do you think that contributes to her being so, I dunno, Sugilite?”

  
“I don’t know. It could be possible. It may be influencing the mindset we take into the fusion”

  
“Yeah, that was what I was thinking! We get too pumped up and Sugilite has to like work off all that tension! But like, if we fused like we do when we fuse with Pearl, maybe Sugilite would be a little more like Opal and Sardonyx”

  
“Hmm, it’s worth a try at least” said Garnet offering her hand to Amethyst.

  
The pair began to dance hand in hand, moving in a circle on the grass. Garnet spun Amethyst in a pirouette before separating and performing graceful spins in their own style. Their gems began to glow and they ran toward each other but this time Garnet picked up Amethyst as they fused. The usual high pitched buzzing whine that signaled Sugilite’s fusion sounded but not Sugilite’s trademark cackle. The light faded and there stood the giant fusion, staring blankly at the horizon.

  
“Oh my stars! She’s huge!” yelped Peridot.

  
“Yep, that’s Sugilite! She’s awesome!” Steven replied.

  
“Is she usually this quiet?” Peridot asked timidly.

  
“No actually. Hey! Sugilite! Hello? Is everything ok!?” Steven shouted.

  
Sugilite said nothing, she just continued to stare. Steven and Peridot looked to each other worried but were startled when Sugilite suddenly rocked on her heels and sat down with a huge thud and then continued to stare out.

  
“Steven, I’m scared, why is she not saying anything?”

  
“I dunno. Sugilite is usually a lot louder than this”

  
The pair approached cautiously until they were right by her leg. Steven tentatively reached out and tugged on the material of Sugilite’s legging to try and get her attention.

  
“Huh, wah was that?” Sugilite said confused before looking down to see Steven “Aww, hey Steven! I forget you were here, heh heh, sorry, I’m just a little thrown. I’ve never felt so… calm”

  
“Is it good to be calm?”

  
“I could get used to it” Sugilite said blankly “Hey, how about you come up hear little man?” said Sugilite as she crossed her legs.

  
“Yeah!” said Steven as he clambered onto Sugilite’s lowered hand.

  
“You too, Little Green!” Sugilite smirked.

  
“Hey! Don’t call me Little Green! Or I’ll call you… Big… Purple!” said Peridot as she struggled to lift herself onto Sugilite’s hand until Steven helped her up.

  
“Ha! I actually like the sound of that” said Sugilite as she deposited Steven and Peridot on her knee.

  
“So Sugilite, why are you so different?” Steven asked, sitting cross legged.

  
“I think because whatever Amethyst was trying to do worked. I feel weird, but like in a good way, you know?”

  
“Do you feel like a different person?”

  
“Er… kinda. Like I’ll always be mash up of Garnet and Amethyst but they won’t always be the same Gem, so as they grow, I grow? Just it’s, like, sudden for me, you know?”

  
“Wow, you really are your own Gem, aren’t you?” Peridot said as she gulped.

  
“Yeah, that’s how fusion works, Little Green” Sugilite cackled.

  
Peridot frowned at the continued use of her pet name “Yeah, but Amethyst and Garnet do not exist as you exist! How can they be ok with that? Doesn’t that scare them?”

  
“Hey, how do you think it feels to know when they unfuse, I stop existing?” Sugilite frowned as she took off her shades.

  
“I… er… thought you existed still in the Gems that made you” Peridot said nervously.

  
“Yeah, but I’m just like a nagging thought, I’m not a Gem of my own until they fuse. It’s weird, you know? Living your life as a handful of moments. What weirder is in one moment of being awake, you’re angrily smashing down a communication hub for the second time, and then when you next wake up, you’re all calm like you’re ready to fall asleep!” Sugilite said with sudden aggression.

  
Peridot yelped and hid behind Steven. Steven flinched and sealed them in a bubble while glaring up at Sugilite for scaring Peridot.

  
“What’s your problem?” Sugilite snapped.

  
“You scared Peridot!” Steven yelled back.

  
“I… ok, I’m calm again. Sorry. But it’s frustrating, ok?”

  
“Ok, but you scared Peridot!” Steven frowned “Peridot, you ok?”

  
Peridot still was cowering behind Steven trembling.

  
“Hey, P, I’m sorry I snapped, ok? Just being a fusion can be frustrating, you know?”

  
“But is it still enjoyable?” Peridot said peeking out from behind Steven.

  
“Well yeah, you feel really powerful but I dunno if I like having my personality just like… decided for me. But I know why Amethyst did it. Poor girl is so down on herself and I’m the only good thing she can do and I’m just a wrecking ball…”

  
“Hey! Amethyst is more than just one half of you and you’re way more than a wrecking ball! Right Peridot?”

  
Peridot peeked out from behind Steven “Er… yes! Possessing the squatter frame of a Ruby, the strength of an Amethyst and the predictive capabilities of a Sapphire; all the while being also a cognizant and stable fusion would give you fantastic battlefield status. I estimate with your powers combined you could easily go up against a fusion of…” Peridot did some quick calculations in her head “seven Jaspers!”

  
“Wow, impressive” Sugilite considered for a second “Wait, why is Ruby being short her contribution?” Sugilite offered unimpressed.

  
“Well obviously because her lower center of gravity gives her a greater ability to dodge-roll out of the way, giving her an advantage over larger foes, a trait I can see you also possess”

  
“Huh… I’ll have to remember that” said Sugilite as leaned back and supported herself with her lower arms.

  
“Hey, Sugilite, when did you first fuse?” Steven asked.

  
“Huh, I think it was when Amethyst was learning fusion. I forget a lot about then because Amethyst didn’t really try and remember it. I do remember a lot the fights I’ve been in! Wanna hear about them?”

  
“Yeah!”

  
“Ok let’s see…. oh! What about the story of the fight against the Giant Gem elephant?”

  
“Oh yeah!” yelled Steven.

  
“Ok! So we’d heard rumors of some giant elephant creature harassing this ruler type guy, trying to get into his treasure room. We weren’t really worried about this guy’s money but people were in danger. So we go and we find this giant elephant creature with like 5 trunks, 8 legs and pale green skin. It was obviously possessed by a gem so Garnet and Amethyst formed me, I punch the creature in the gut, and up comes the Jade gem stone which Pearl caught and bubbled. The end”

  
“Was that it?” Peridot asked confused.

  
“Yeah? You’ve seen our fights; they don’t last long” Sugilite said defensively.

  
“Well what about when you fought against Homeworld?” Steven asked.

  
“Dude, I wasn’t around until after that war” Sugilite chuckled “They didn’t find Amethyst until after all the Homeworld Gems had packed up and left”

  
“Oh” Steven said feeling silly.

  
“Hmm, it’s weird being about and not having something to fight. Or destroy something”

  
“You mean you’ve never just fused for the fun of it?” Steven asked.

  
“No, I’ve always been too much of a liability. But it seems that I’m a little more stable” Sugilite smiled.

  
“What do you wanna do now then?”

  
“I dunno, I think its best I unfuse. I’m usually such a hot mess that I kind of channel that anger into smashing stuff but I’m calm and I got nothing to smash. Plus, it’s going to take me a while to get used to my new self, you know?”

  
“Oh ok then”

  
“Don’t worry, Steven, I’ll be back. Now I’m not so, well, bad, Garnet and Amethyst might fuse a little more often”

  
“Ok!” Steven smiled brightly.

  
“And Peridot” Sugilite called to get her attention because she’d long since stopped listening.

  
“Oh, no names?” Peridot said sarcastically.

  
“Nah, I need to real talk for a second. I know fusion scares you because you think you lose yourself but you don’t. You still feel everything going on and it can feel pretty great. You’ll remember what it’s like to be fused after you’re done”

  
“But what if I’m unstable!” Peridot whined.

  
“Listen, if I can be stable, any fusion you make can be the same. Just stay calm, you’ll be good” Sugilite smiled “Anyways, time I was going” said Sugilite as she placed the two of them on the ground and stood up.

  
“Wait, Sugilite, what if-” but Peridot couldn’t finish before Sugilite had unfused.

  
Garnet stood their cradling Amethyst. They looked to each other shocked for a moment before Amethyst threw her arms up cheering.

  
“Oh my gosh, G! That was amazing! Sugilite was so chill! I’ve never seen her like that!”

  
“That was so good! Oh Amethyst! I’m so proud!” said Garnet, cuddling Amethyst to her.

  
“Hey, wasn’t all me, G” Amethyst said wryly.

  
“What do you mean?” Garnet said slightly sheepishly.

  
“I know you went into that fusion trying to stay calm, same as me. I could feel it. Thank you” Amethyst smiled.

  
“So did I make it up to you?” Garnet asked tentatively.

  
“Yes” Amethyst said.

  
The pair continued to hug as Steven ran around them cheering their success.

  
“Oh wait! Garnet, you need to go talk to Pear. She said for you to go see her after you were done making Sugilite”

  
“But Steven, Amethyst and I need to celebrate this victory first” Garnet frowned.

  
“Don’t sweat it, G. I wanna see you and Pearl fuse. Be nice to meet Sardonyx again” Amethyst smiled wistfully.

  
“Thank you, Amethyst” said Garnet before kissing Amethyst on the forehead and putting her down “Let’s go find Pearl, Steven!”

  
“Ok!” exclaimed Steven as the pair walked off.

  
“So, Little Green, what do you think?” Amethyst said excitedly once Garnet was gone.

  
“It interesting. But also scary! Like, where do you go when you fuse?” Peridot asked unsure.

  
“Dude, stop over thinking it. I become Sugilite, that’s kind of it, you know?”

  
“Ok” Peridot said as she sunk to the ground.

  
“Come on, we’ll miss Garnet and Pearl fusing if you hang around here!”

  
“Ok” said Peridot as she got up and walked after Amethyst. 

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think? Should this fic continue?


End file.
